Babes Bastards and Blasters

Babes

Bastards

and Blasters

Dedicated, sometimes, to being

funny about serious matters

and serious about funny

matters. Sometimes not.

_________________

MILLION MOM MACHINE-GUN MAULERS STRIKE

(Satire by "Info")

The sappers struck first at the mall, and the main force of the Million Mom Machine-Gun Maulers deployed a minute later exiting a stream of stopped SUVs.

The irony of it was that the MMMMers were against guns, especially machine-guns. That’s why they killed as many people as they could with them—to precipitate laws against guns, and especially machine-guns.

With appropriate somber tones, the TV news was happy to report that 714 shoppers had been mowed down dead in the MMMM attack, and all the MMMM members had been arrested, except for two who had been shot dead by a lone middle-aged man who had a concealed weapons permit in his wallet and .38 Special in his hand. But he, himself, had been killed by a fusillade of bullets from the MMMMers.

The shopping mall took appropriate action. They had previously posted inconspicuous signs around the property warning happy shoppers of prohibited behavior and prohibited items, including weapons of any kind. Now, they called their lawyers. Wrongdoers must pay.

Some public controversy erupted over the prosecution of the MMMM members who had been involved in the attack. After all, they were mothers, and mothers are good. Besides, they were against guns, and everybody these days knows guns are bad. The TV news moos say so. So the MMMMers got a mixed bag of convictions, acquittals, light sentences, and suspended sentences.

However, the shopping mall’s lawyers made sure the armed man who shot two of the terrorists got exactly what he deserved, having trespassed, armed as he was, against the posted rules of the shopping mall. Or rather, his estate got what he deserved. They sued his estate and got all of it, including his .38 Special, which was melted down in a TV broadcast viewed by millions of happy Americans, who cried because of the sad music accompanying the video event.

And the celebrities, who shed tears as they spoke on TV pictures everywhere, told us for the zillionth time the plain truth that more and more Americans know these days because they have slowly learned from the mass media:

Guns are bad, and nobody should be permitted to have them except soldiers and the police, and maybe not even them.

NOTE: For some of you who may have difficulty understanding what you read, this short, short story is dripping with irony. In other words, this story is against any kind of “gun control,” and supports the Second Amendment, which specifies that the right to keep and bear arms “shall not be infringed.”

Control

_________________

Would Bigsoft intentionally impede productivity on its products? No. Never. They change the function of the keyboard from time to time just to make sure we consumers are not bored.

Would Bigsoft send us updates that don't work and slow down our productivity while the computer reboots itself every 4 hours? No. Never. They'll fix it any minute. They're just busy right now.

_________________

NSA called today...

Around 3pm.
Must have some strong mitters that cut right through the deep layers of anti-radiowave, non-conductive de-ionized steel reinforced concrete poured on top of my crisis burrow.
   "'Bout your conversation the other day with Mr. Muschibefingern," a gravelly voiced guy said. "We got some questions."
   I was surprised, but I said nothing. I learned from Smiley.
   "He said at one point that he didn't like Johnny Carson." There were sounds then like he was drawing on a cigarette while he was waiting in vain for me to say something. "Do you remember that?" he finally asked.
   Smiley would have said nothing, so that's what I said.
   "How could anybody not like Johnny Carson?" he inflected with just a smidgeon of whine. "I mean, Carson was a very funny, very likeable guy."
   I felt strong now saying nothing, like I was on top of the guy.
   "What kind of a person is Mr. Muschibefingern, anyway?" he finally asked.
   I hung up.
   He didn't call back
   Just letting you know.
   Maybe you ought to lay low on this Carson thing for a while. If it were me, I would play a few Carson Youtubes and be sure to laugh and say "Ah, he's great!" once or twice.
   Just saying...

   "Smirkey"

_________________

Not Going Crazy*

On the other side of the world;
my head is where my feet
are used to being; plain
geometry, that is.
Inverted, di-
verted, re-
vert-
ed
.

Don't have to "go" crazy;
am there already; got
a round-trip ticket;
"Return to Crazy"
"Will you be
staying,
sir?"

"No.
I'll be
going back."
"Back, sir?" "Yes.
Back to Crazy." "How
about a day-trip, Sir? Special
deal on Crazy Excursion! Back by
suppertime to your regular
Crazy. No extra charge
for illusions, delusions
confusions and bad
conclusions. Half-
price but pay
twice. Cra-
zy, eh

"

Save my money. No
need to go craz-
y. There al-
read-
y.

*No need for alarm. Just a
little verbal run-off to
walk off a mental
stand-off.

_________________

Characters

“Having your book turned into a movie is like seeing your oxen turned into bouillon cubes.”
― John le Carré

Maybe somewhere, John le Carré really did have oxen. Maybe he is the type who would appreciate big, brown bulks of bovine biology. Yes. Perhaps.
   Movies based on his stories are good, but the writing style of John le Carré pleases me not. I have read a few of his novels. Absolute Friends, The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, A Delicate Truth. He is a successful writer of espionage stories while I am a writer who is interested, among other things, in the endless intrigues and operations of espionage.
   This will not be a critical analysis of why I do not like his writing. Suffice it to say that he buries his stories in volumes of constellations of words. Those constellations include ironies, lyrical themes, bureaucratic bombast, and fascination with detailed descriptions of an amazing myriad of nouns ranging from trysts to teacups.
   But the story is why we open his books. Well, then we must dig it out of its thick-weave literary packaging.
   But wait! There are the movies! Screenplays of his stories have time for the story, but little else. I love every one of the movies that have dramatized Le Carre's stories.
   The characters in those stories get me. Leamus. Smiley, Ann and Karla. Justin and Tessa Quayle. All of them really get me. I mean tears roll down my cheeks for them, and for others that are too numerous to mention here. I care what happens to them. Le Carre's stories are good, but his characters speak to my heart.
   So I must say that Le Carre is a good writer. I would say a great writer, but time is a better judge of that adjective than I. Besides, I'm envious of his success.
   So, Le Carre is famous and probably rich. I am writing about him, but he will never write about me.
   But, I have characters inside me about whom I have written passages that get me, characters who make my heart swell with emotion and who make tears roll down my cheeks.
   But what happened to them? Where are they?
   Back to master Le Carre. I ask him, "Why bulky tomes with strings of good stories and wonderful characters threading through them? Why not lyrical and lovely, but lean?"
   Perhaps the answer lies in the demands of his success. His readers want to read. A big book means more reading, more value for the money.
   Not for me. I don't want money. Fame, please, no.
   So, I must quicken a character or two now.
   But, in closing, I must say, say "The writing style of John le Carre pleases me not, but I love his movies!"

_________________

REGARDING NATIONWIDE SECOND AMENDMENT MARCHES

The time when this kind of demonstration could successfully make a statement may be over.

Patriots who want their Constitutional rights to prevail may have to recognize that times have changed, and their tactics will also have to change.

Even if 50 million Americans show up for the marches, the mainstream media will lie about it. They'll say 50 people showed up. Those who defend the Constitution will get no help whatsoever from the lying media. That is a lesson some patriots need to learn.

Another concern is that large groups of patriots assembling lawfully and peacefully are tempting targets for agents provocateur sponsored by those who want to take your guns. They will pretend that they also are patriots who share your agenda, then, when the TV cameras are there, they will commit crazy, violent crimes, screaming and waving signs to "Save our guns," or any such nonsense. They may even fire live ammunition and hurt somebody. The mainstream media will certainly be quick to report the activities of those provocateurs, saying they are "typical gun nuts."

This march may for that reason turn out to be a good learning experience for patriots who do not yet really understand the enemy that they are facing.

Instead of gathering in big groups that can easily be infiltrated by state agents, better for friends to go in pairs into neighborhoods and just talk to people.

Put up a stand at the library and talk to people.

A million Constitutionalists gathering in Washington will not succeed in making a big difference.

A million Constitutionalists talking to people and making new friends in their own neighborhoods would make a big difference.

TRUMP TO RELEASE

CLASSIFIED JFK FILES

For Trump, the release of the classified files pertaining to the assassination of John F. Kennedy may very likely be a prelude to revealing those responsible.

That would be a logical step in the conflict between him and the present Deep State, since JFK's murderers were probably members of the 1963 Deep State.

By doing so, he would also torpedo the media who have been complicit in the crime by lying all this time.

Of course, it must be said that certain insidious administrations have had more than 50 years to go through those documents to clean out any ugly truths and replace them with useful falsies. Consequently, the big revelation will be that Lee Harvey Oswald met Donald Trump in Russia, where they became drinking buddies. There'll probably even be photos.

# # #

"I want your gun, Baby!"